Sea Creatures You Would Lowkey Smash
Every so often I find myself having the thought: “Isn’t the ocean just kind of a little sexy?” I know it sounds weird but level with me for a second; it’s warm, the mood lighting is on point, and it’s the perfect soundtrack for getting it on(I’m talking about the gentle sexual hum of the liquid around you). Also let’s not forget these absolutely jaw dropping creatures of the depths that you just want to get right up inside of:
1. This cute ass Axolotl
Can we just take a second to look at just how cute this lil fella is though? If that isn’t the type of face you would take home to your parents then I don’t know what is. It just looks like it would come home after a long day of swimming on the ocean floor and feeding the shell-less and give you a foot-rub for all the work you being so awesome. Also it can regrow it’s limbs and spine so you can be as rough as you want if you know what I mean 😉😏
2. This hella adorable squid… thing
Okay so we’ll admit we honestly don’t know if this is a squid or an octopus, and also it’s not much of a looker BUT it’s also pretty adorable right? Even though it’s head is pretty much 90% of its entire mass and it is permanently cross-eyed, It would no doubt be up for an infinite number post sex-cuddle sessions; look at all those um… arms!
3. This really nice blob fish with a great personality
Wait. Before you say anything, we promise this isn’t a joke. When we say this fish has a great personality we really, really mean it. You know what, you’re right; it doesn’t have a tight butt or huge boobs or plump lips or long pretty legs or even ears at all but this fish would tell you that you looked cute even when your unibrow really needed shaving. And come on, give Blobby a break; you wouldn’t look that great if your skin literally couldn’t hold all your organs in either would you?
4. This literal swimming penis
To be quite honest this is exactly what it looks like. Look me in the eye and tell me this guy wouldn’t lay pipe like no one’s business. Is it even a guy? We really don’t know and it kind of doesn’t even matter. With a genital to body ratio of 1 to 1 this lil sea snake will make sure you’re satisfied and coming back for seconds. Also if you can find them, it’s eyes are pretty dreamy.
5. This thing?
We actually don’t know if this one is real but seeing as it’s the only one on this list with arms then you’re just going to have to take what we give you! Based off what our research teams have told us, it can probably do the sex. Also we know exactly what you’re thinking; no, it does not have a gag reflex.
Speaking of having sex with sea creatures! We’re having a free sneak of The Shape Of Water tomorrow and you should come check it out! Here is a link to the Facebook event.
cec.very very wet.
***CEC does not condone sex with sea creatures but what you do in your own time is your business***