Holiday Movies To Get ~Wholesome~ To This Christmas
Hello you ho, ho hoes – it’s that time of year again! Yep, it’s holiday season! Fall quarter me is gone, and in her place is an ugly-Christmas-sweater-wearing, hot-chocolate-drinking, Justin-Bieber-Christmas-album-listening, uncuffed, festive bitch. Honestly, anyone who hates the holiday season is a real-life Grinch. We’re into week 9 which means we have just enough time to scrap our old messy selves, and get wholesome just in time to make Santa’s nice list – and nothing is more wholesome and festive than Christmas movies.
Honestly, what’s better than pretending you have your life together and watching a good ol’ Christmas movie – don’t even try and fight me on this. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to Netflix and Chill the fuck out of this holiday season – here are 5 ~wholesome~ Christmas movies you MUST watch.
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Cindy Lou Who was serving looks long before any of us knew how to appreciate it properly. Take her hair for instance – it’s a masterpiece. But let’s give a round of applause to Jim Carrey here: the makeup for the Grinch took 2 1/2 hours to put on and 1 hour to take off – like that is dedication. I can’t even sit still for a 50 minute lecture sometimes, and he was doing this for weeks, all the props to him.
Also, the Grinch is a real mood. The guy can’t deal with social interaction, hates emotions and leaving his house, and complains 24/7. Like, um did I just describe the Grinch or me?! Sigh, he’s truly an icon to us all. But the fact that his heart grows three times in size is hope that we all could have that ~wholesome~ holiday cheer in us this December.
4. Santa Clause (1-3, all of them or any one of them, really)
Imma be real here and admit something: I haven’t seen this. Not a single one, not even the first. I’M SORRY, SUE ME. Sometimes a gal misses a Christmas movie or two. But I couldn’t leave this one out just because of the sheer number of people who have raved about this movie throughout my life (not in a “why hasn’t this won the Oscar for most brilliant movie of all-time?!” sort of way, but like a “how have you not seen this, do you live under a cave” way). And I see it – I mean Tim Allen just looks like the most ~wholesome~ father, and, as we all know, Santa is the father of Christmas (father, not daddy, we’re keeping this PG). I promise I’ll watch this one this December and live-tweet the experience.
3. The Polar Express
Fact: Tom Hanks is a real-life ANGEL. The man is honestly a national treasure, and is everyone’s honorary grandfather and favorite family member. Honestly, he’d be the grandpa that would give you all the cash on your birthday, make all the baked goods, joke around with you 24/7, and be on your side for any family argument. Tom Hanks, ftw.
I used to not be about The Polar Express, but that was when I was young and ignorant – The Polar Express is the shit. It is pure dreams and holiday cheer in a movie. They go to visit Santa Clause! The pure, ~wholesome~ friendships! The ringing of the bell! THE BELL! I just have a lot of feels and emotions right now, this movie hits me right where it hurts. Watch it for Tom Hanks in animated form alone, stay for the beautiful story and Christmas vibes.
2. Home Alone (1 and 2 – fight me on this)
Kevin McCallister is badder and better than any of us will ever be, no question about it. The kid single-handedly beats the fuck out of two grown men in the cleverest of ways – twice. Not to mention, he somehow manages to survive in New York?! Honestly, I can barely survive on my own here. Kevin McCallister is truly a king among kings.
Also, I will fight for both Home Alones to get a spot on this list – Kevin did not get lost in New York to not get the recognition he deserves. He also manages to briefly live the life 9-year-old me always wanted to live: having all the ice-cream for meals, eating pizza in a limo?! Like, I would kill to do that today. It’s a hilarious movie – honestly name a better duo than Marv and Harry, I dare you. And is there a better holiday greeting than, “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal”? I don’t think so. Maybe it’s a little feisty and not so ~wholesome~, but so am I, so I’ll take that.
You know who deserves to get coal forever though? Whoever decided to make Home Alone 3 and any other Home Alones with a different child actor. Honestly though, fuck you whoever made that, you are the true Grinch this holiday season.
“Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”
Look me in the eyes and tell me that Buddy the Elf is not your favorite human on the Earth, I bet you can’t. Honestly, Will Ferrell wins all the holiday awards for this movie alone.There is nothing more ~wholesome~ than when he yells “SANTAA?!?!” in the toy store. The man is an elf for Christ’s sake. . For real though, Elf is up there on the national treasures list with Tom Hanks. You have to be a real Grinch (looking at you, Barbara) to have something against this movie. Go watch Elf to physically feel Christmas inside of you – it’s that good. It’s as sweet as all the syrup and sugar Buddy ingests throughout the film. This whole movie is just a big, bundle of feel good, and that is the magic of the holiday season.
Let’s get the Christmas feels early, you beautiful ho ho hoes.
Catch the CEC Holiday Film Film: Elf this Thursday, 11/30 at 8pm in AGB.
cec. santa’s coming.